New book released

January 26, 2014

I’m happy to announce the release of my new book True Love Lasts: A guide to healthy relationships for teens and young adultsThe book is very similar to my other books except that the Christian emphasis in Straight Talk About Teen Dating and Straight Talk About Dating has been replaced with a character emphasis (Character, Attitude, Responsibility, Effort, and Self-Control). The reason I wrote the book is that I wanted teen and young adults who are not Christians to have some good information that will help them to avoid the heartbreak of unhappiness and divorce. I also wanted to  be able to hand my students a chapter of the book and say, “Here’s a chapter from a book about healthy relationships – maybe it will help you to make good dating decisions”.

Dating with God™ video posted on godtube.com

June 19, 2012

In an effort to communicate to as many people as possible the Dating with God approach to dating, we have posted a new forty-two minute video called Dating with God on godtube.com. Here’s the description of the video from that website.

“Many of us have been taught by the media and our popular culture to believe that there is only one approach to dating – an approach that is mainly based upon whether or not we like someone and looks. This “Dating without God” approach usually leads to a broken heart. In addition to explaining why this approach rarely works, the video explains a God centered approach to dating called Dating with God™. ”

We welcome your comments about the video and about the Dating with God approach to dating.

 

 

Help us to spread the revolution of Dating with God™

April 5, 2012

We are offering a limited number of absolutely free Teen U and DATING-WITH-GOD.COM T-shirts to teens who have purchased and read Straight Talk About Teen Dating and are willing to wear the T-shirt at least one day a month in public (at the mall, to an amusement park, at church, etc.) to help spread the revolution. The maroon Teen U T-shirts say Teen U with . . . Be Free  John 8:32 underneath on the front and Teens: Want the best possible life and heavenly rewards? with TeenU.org underneath on the back. The DATING-WITH-GOD.COM  T-Shirts are white and have a picture of fireworks with the words DATING-WITH-GOD.COM and JOIN THE REVOLUTION on the front. You can get a good idea of what the T-shirts look like by looking at the header of the DATING-WITH-GOD.COM website.

You may request one of these T-shirts by e-mailing us your size (adult small, adult medium, adult large, or adult extra large), first name, last initial, mailing address, and which T-shirt you would like to datingwithgod@aol.com  (e-mail addresses and mailing addresses are never shared with anyone) or mailing your request to Dating with God, PO Box 5234, Lancaster, PA 17606. Please be sure to include where you bought Straight Talk About Teen Dating.

Thanks for helping to spread the revolution and for helping others to maximize the possibility that they will have a lifelong loving Christian marriage!

(Quantities available are limited.)

*More information about the Dating with God™ approach to dating can be found at our sister website: DATING-WITH-GOD.COM.

Your questions are welcome!

December 10, 2011

The teen dating world is a difficult place to be. If you would like this blog to answer a question about teen dating from a Christian perspective, please leave your question as a comment to this posting. Selected questions will be answered in a future blog post. (We regret that we cannot answer all questions submitted.) Blessings!

James Wegert is now booking free speaking engagements for 2013

December 10, 2011

An open letter to churches around the world,

This letter is to request your consideration of giving me the privilege of coming to speak at your church on Sunday morning, Sunday night, on an evening during the week, or at a retreat.

The topic that I would like to talk about is dating from a Christian perspective. The purpose of this presentation is to provide teens and young adults with some of the crucial information that they need to know about dating and to motivate them to go on the journey of preparing themselves for dating.

My qualifications to talk about this subject are:

• I love the Lord and try my best every day to serve Him

• I’m a school counselor

• I talk with teenagers on a regular basis about their relationship problems

• I’ve made painful dating mistakes in my life, I have seen many other people make dating mistakes in their life – and I would like to help other people avoid these mistakes

• I have over sixteen years of paid youth work experience with the Boys’ Club, the YMCA, a children’s home, and in the schools

• I have four years of experience as a volunteer Sunday School teacher and two years of experience as a volunteer youth group leader

• I have written two books Straight Talk About Teen Dating (for preteen-age 19) and Straight Talk About Dating (for ages 20 and up) that have good reviews online

• I have earned a bachelor’s degree and two Master’s degrees

• I have a passion to do whatever I can to reduce the divorce rate in our society

My presentation is designed to be informative, somewhat entertaining, and pleasing to the Lord – I can adjust it to fit just about any time frame.

I do not charge or accept “love” offerings when I speak. I would be happy to send you a complimentary copy of one of my books, a copy of a DVD with excerpts from my presentation, and the script of my entire presentation for your review.

I hope that your church will consider inviting me to speak. I am including a copy of my speaker request form.

Thank you for your consideration!

Yours in Christ,

Jim Wegert

PS  I would also be happy to provide you with a list of references that can attest to my character.

*I am mainly available to travel during the summer and I would need to be reimbursed for my travel expenses.

“Dating with God” Speaker Request Form

Yes, we would like to invite Jim Wegert to speak on

(Date)___________________

at (Time) __________________ at

(location)______________________________________________
Name of church, school, or organization

_________________________________________________________
Address

Our alternative date and time is (Date)__________________ at

(Time)____________________.

We would like him to speak approximately _________ minutes.

We estimate that approximately __________ teens and __________young adults will be in the audience.

We agree that Jim Wegert will be permitted to offer his books for sale after he speaks or he will be permitted to include the websites where his books can be ordered in the bulletin or on a flyer that he would provide.

We understand that Jim Wegert will do everything humanly possible to keep this speaking engagement but we understand that he may cancel this speaking engagement in case of family emergency or illness.

__________________________________________________

Signature of church, school, organization official

__________________________________________________
Printed name of person signing above and their title

__________________________________________________
Phone # of contact person E-mail address of contact person

_________________
Date

Please mail this completed form to:

Dating with God
PO Box 5234
Lancaster, PA 17606-5234

(A confirmation letter will be sent back to you within two weeks of receipt of this form.)

Reading about why celebrities divorce is hard to take

September 2, 2011

It seems like almost every day another celebrity couple decides to get divorced. Quite frankly, it’s sad and sickening – especially when children are involved. Almost all of the celebrity reasons for getting a divorce are lame. Unfortunately, the reasons they give demonstrate that they never took the time needed to prepare themselves for dating and marriage by becoming the type of person that God wanted them to date, that they never had real love for the person that they married, that they didn’t marry a strong Christian, that they didn’t put enough effort into keeping the feeling of being “in love” during marriage, that they married someone with the “as long as we both shall love” attitude instead of the “as long as we both shall live” commitment, that they don’t believe that a marriage vow (a promise to their spouse and to God) is sacred, and that they are selfish.

But don’t take my word for it – see what you think about these quotes from celebrities – “This is just two people who came together and just realized – so I’m saying it (the marriage) wasn’t sustainable the way it was, and that’s that.” (How about doing the work necessary and making the changes necessary to make the marriage sustainable?), “To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself – if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now.” (How about going to in-depth marriage counseling if you feel that your spouse is not good for you or that you are not being treated in the right way?) Walking away from a marriage because you love yourself and you feel that marriage is not the right thing for you is nothing but selfishness.

My hope is that people who read these excuses about divorce from celebrities will realize how lame they are, that they will learn from the dating and marriage mistakes of celebrities, and that they will do the work necessary prior to and during dating and marriage to maximize the possibility that they will have a lifelong loving Christian marriage.

More about real love

May 12, 2011

The feeling of being “in love” and real love are not the same thing. Think of it this way, if a person has real love for another person, it’s like the sun, it’s always there no matter what (remember that even when it’s night, the sun is still there, it’s just shining on the other side of the earth – and when it’s cloudy outside the sun is also still there, it’s just behind the clouds). The feeling of being “in love” is like sunshine – even though we would like it to be sunny everyday, the truth is that sunshine comes and goes. I’m hoping that this explanation will help people to see that it’s possible for a person to have real love for another person and not feel “in love” with that person at a particular moment – even happily married couples report that they sometimes don’t have the feeling of being “in love.”

(c) 2011

How could “make out” sessions during dating be harmful?

November 5, 2009

If you read Straight Talk About Teen Dating, you know that the book says in the chapter about the do’s and don’ts of dating something like, “Don’t spend much time kissing – affection is OK, but “make out” sessions are out (sorry, but they arouse passions that are designed by God to be expressed only in marriage).

Your reaction to this recommendation may range from “That makes some sense” all the way to “That’s crazy, no one does that.”

So how could “make out” sessions during dating be harmful?

1. They often cause an emotional attachment to develop much too quickly in a dating relationship. An emotional attachment can cause a person to ignore serious character flaws in the person that they are dating and to continue in a dating relationship with a person that God doesn’t want them to continue dating. We are actually supposed to guard our heart and not give it too soon to another person. Please see Proverbs, chapter 4, verse 23.

2. Secondly, we get addicted to the feelings (caused by chemicals that are released in the brain) that we get when we kiss another person passionately. This addiction can also cause a person to ignore serious character flaws in the person that they are dating and to continue in a dating relationship with a person that God doesn’t want them to continue dating. The passions aroused during “make out” sessions are designed by God to be expressed only in marriage.

3. And finally, people who engage in “make out” sessions during dating are much more likely to engage in premarital sex because they lose control of their passions. Studies show that people who have premarital sex before marriage are more likely to be divorced.

Since God tells us to flee from sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians, chapter 6, verse 18 – it’s clear that He doesn’t want us to spend our time before marriage getting ourselves aroused – not because He wants to spoil our fun, but because He created us and He knows what’s best for us in the long run.*

*Remember that God loves you regardless of what you have done and He will forgive you if you turn to Him.

(c) 2009

Beauty and Purity

August 24, 2009

Last Saturday a teenage writer in the Teen section of our paper wrote an article with a favorable review about a book that “tries to show us how impossible our society’s purity and beauty standards are on women of any age.”  The writer says that the book “points out how our society wants women to look sexy and be sexy, but not actually have sex or want to”  and “discusses how dangerous it is when our society links a young woman’s worth to her sexuality instead of her qualities like kindness or honesty.”   The writer seems to be saying that we need to reject society’s beauty standards and purity standards.  May I suggest that we actually need to turn to God and embrace His standards for modesty in outward appearance, inner beauty (Galatians, chapter 5, verses 22-23), and purity (Ephesians chapter 5, verse 3).  It’s not going to be easy to change our society, but with God’s help, all things are possible.

What the world needs now is love, real love

July 14, 2009

Unfortunately, many people don’t know what real love is and that’s a huge reason why so many relationships between men and women are messed up. Many people think that real love is just a feeling. You know, the “I’m in love and it’s wonderful” feeling.

If real love is just a feeling, feelings come and go. But real love doesn’t come and go according to the Bible. A paraphrase of 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4-8 is: Love is patient and kind. Love isn’t jealous, rude, selfish, or easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in evil, but rejoices in what is right. Love is supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails.

Real love is much more than just a feeling, it’s also a lifelong commitment.* When you say that you love someone, you are committing to loving them for the rest of your life – for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death do you part. Real love never fails.

So when you hear someone say, “I don’t love him or her anymore” – take it for what it really is – it’s someone telling you that they have lost the feeling of being “in love”, that they don’t know how or they are not willing to make the effort required to get back the feeling of being “in love”, and that they never had real love for the person they are talking about to begin with because real love never fails.

Over and over again through the years I have heard young women say “my boyfriend loves me.” Unfortunately, most of these women have been fooled. How could their boyfriend possibly love them if their boyfriend doesn’t even know what real love is?

How would you feel if you gave something of very high value in exchange for something that you thought had a very high value – and you later find out that what you received was counterfeit? Angry? Betrayed? Outraged? Depressed? How do you think that millions of unmarried teenage girls feel after finding out that they have given their precious virginity to someone who doesn’t have real love for them.*

It’s time for young women to rise up and refuse to accept this counterfeit love from these young men who are not living their lives for Christ. Young women need to realize that many men who are not living their lives for Christ view women as sex objects – something to be used for their sexual gratification. 

I’m sorry if this sounds insulting – but it’s time for many young women to wake up, wise up, and not be fooled. It’s time for teenage women to use their teenage years to develop a close relationship with Jesus Christ instead of spending too much valuable time developing relationships with young men.

(It’s also time for teenage men to use their teenage years to develop a close relationship with Jesus Christ instead of spending too much valuable time developing relationships with young women.)

*Please keep in mind that if you have given your virginity away without being married – God still loves you deeply, he forgives all things, and he will never turn his back on you – please carefully consider becoming a Christian, if you’re not already, by trusting in Christ alone as your Savior and start living your life for Him!

© 2009 Straight Talk About Teen Dating